A question I get asked a lot is, “If my ex really wants me back, why doesn’t he grovel? Why doesn’t he try to PROVE his love? He hurt me so much and all I really want is to know that it’s for real this time.”
Frankly, when your ex is hanging around, its easy to wonder what the heck he’s are doing. You might not be sure if he really wants you or he’s looking for a quick ego boost.
The truth is, dramatic scenes where someone’s ex swoops in, breathlessly admits his undying love and then the couple ride off into the sunset together are incredibly rare. Like so many things in life, the expectation doesn’t often live up to the reality.
The “grand gesture” is often not that grand. When an ex wants you back, his return is more likely to look like a whimper rather than a roar.
Your ex might have prayed day and night that you’ll call for the last 52 days. He may have constructed a shrine in your honor. He might be consulting his favorite tarot reader and using love spells. But when he returns, most often its so different than what you expect that it puts your relationship into a weird, awkward limbo-zone.
The reason why this happens lies in the twin forces of ego and a concept called cognitive dissonance.
Let’s tackle cognitive dissonance first. Cognitive dissonance is defined as “the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change.”