5 Lies You Hear About Finding Love After Divorce

When you start all over after a divorce you get a lot of misinformation about what’s out there — and what you deserve. After I split with my husband of 16 years I was almost certain I’d just spend the rest of my life single. I was ready for that. And it’s because of everything I was hearing about dating and relationships after divorce. I have to say, the landscape looked treacherous from where I stood. But maybe I was listening to the wrong voices? It turns out, when it comes to finding love again after divorce, it’s not as complicated or difficult as you’d think. Forget the unhelpful noise you hear — like these 5 bits of popular wisdom.

1. You’re damaged goods. Something about surviving a bad relationship makes people feel less lovable, for some reason. The stigma of divorce is fading (finally, thank goodness!) but it’s still hard to shake that feeling that you deserve less. But that’s bunk. You are a survivor, and you deserve good love. Period.

Instead, consider your experience and what you have to offer your “social price,” a term professor of economics Dr. David Anderson coined to describe how we perceive our value in a relationship. “The more you have to offer in a relationship, the more you can expect in return, thus increasing your appropriate social price.”

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