Decoding Your Dude: Why Do Men Lie, and What Can You Do?

#2 He is doing something you don’t approve of. No woman wants to hear that a guy is going to a bachelor party and probably looking at a naked stripper, but some guys do occasionally do that. If you’re in a committed, long-term relationship, there are bound to be things that he does that you don’t necessarily approve of.

This isn’t to say that you can’t address the issue calmly and reasonably with him, but what you shouldn’t do is make him feel the need to lie just to avoid another huge argument. If what he’s doing is harmless and innocent, try to see it from his perspective before making him feel badly about it.

#3 He is embarrassed. Most of the time when you catch a man who loves you in a lie, they are not honest because they want you to think the best of them. My husband used to tell me that he made a certain amount of money when we first started dating, but when I looked at his paycheck later on down the road, I found out that he’d largely exaggerated about his earnings.

It dawned on me that he was lying to me because he wanted me to see him as being more successful than he saw himself. A guy who is not secure in who he is or what he has accomplished will lie to make himself feel more powerful and to ensure that you see him as he wants you to see him.

#4 He is doing something shameful. Most guys watch porn. I don’t care what they say or what you want to believe. Just like most guys will also occasionally step into the shower and masturbate, no matter how great or frequent your sex is. But if you ask him if he had a couple of minutes extra in the shower to please himself, if he watches porn, or if he’s doing something else that he’s not quite proud of, chances are that he’s not going to tell you the truth.

In this situation, it can help to let him know that he doesn’t have to be ashamed of these things, and that they don’t make you look at him any differently. Or, if conversations about these things still make him squirm, don’t force him to share every little detail of his “private” time with you *as long as it’s as innocent as a little porn or sexy shower time*.

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