How long it takes to get over a breakup: All the theories

So you’re in post-breakup mode and you’re thinking, when will I not feel this way, because it sucks? We hear you. While some people will tell you there’s no definitive amount of time that applies to everyone, there are those who believe you can actually calculate your time of grieving. And when you’re really hurting, it helps to have some hard and fast math in order to see out the other end of this dark tunnel. So before you ask Google how long it takes to get over someone, we’ve got ALL the theories about breakup time right here. But, of course, if we’ve forgotten any, feel free to chime in.

The classic theory

We’ve all heard that theory that in order to find out how long it’s going to take for your broken heart to heal, you divide the length of your relationship in half, which is GREAT if you’ve only been dating for a couple of weeks and AWFUL if you’ve been dating for a couple of years. Marie Claire backs this theory, but adds that meeting someone new (who you really like) totally helps speed up the process. Obvs.

The scientific theory

This one really applies to a super-long-term, live-together relationship:A 2009 study found that it took most divorcees a year and a half to get over the breakup of their marriage. Or, to be more precise, 17 months and twenty six days is the average amount of time a person who was in a marriage (or something akin to that) needs before she feels ready to move on.

The depressing theory

According to the Daily Mail, the time it takes to get over someone is the same amount of time you spent together. But take heart, they claim “the time rule is probably nature’s way of making sure we don’t put ourselves in the way of danger from opportunist, unsuitable lovers before we’re emotionally equipped to deal with them.”

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