The common reason for selective listening and not being able to understand others is often our own biased approach towards people or their thoughts . It is often directly related with our past experiences, our current state of mind and how we feel about others as well. To understand people and their choices we have to walk in their shoes a certain miles so that we may understand what makes them who they are and what makes them feel their choices are right. The developed understanding of their lives and choices will help us build a rational approach to communicate with them.
Be more responsive and less reactive
There may be things or behaviors of others which we might dislike but the key is to keep your temper in control and try and understand their situations and their lives and respond to them accordingly as responses are very well thought of while reactions are abrupt , wild and destructive.
Don’t defeat people , win them
Wether it is an interaction , argument or any deals If it turns into a contest it will bring lots of negative energy at both ends . Try getting rid of the habit of putting people down to make yourself feel better . It might make you feel victorious but you might end up losing people and for you to win it is not always the case that other person has to lose there might be ways which can be win win for both of you. People who you defeat will less likely feel connected with you.
These are just few common ways which will help us create an emotionally intelligent world and will reduce the chances of miscommunication and lack of understanding.